So after spending the past 2 summers vacationing together, Team Sheffield and Team Woods decided to take the show international.  It was surreal having the Sheffields on our side of the planet.

We had a whirlwind trip through Asia planned for them which included stops in Thailand and mainland China.  We pressed the pedal to the metal the entire way.  Kudos to the Sheffields who hung in there like champs despite the jetlag, culture shock and packed itinerary.

First stop of the Asian Invasion was our own stomping grounds, Hong Kong.  It’s tough to see Hong Kong in the 3 days we had allotted, but we hit the highlights.

We began with a breakfast of dim sum, which was surprisingly well received to all, even the Sheffield children who have (shall we say) very selective palates.

Next we showed them the wilder side of Hong Kong, a side of the city most fail to think of when envisioning it their minds.  We took a hike through the country park near our home where the beaches and views are quite spectacular.

Along the way, Shane spotted what he believed to be a cobra.

From then on, he suddenly developed a keen interest in the ophiology of Asia.

The next day, we hit the typical Hong Kong tourist attractions…

We visited the Peak.

We road the Star Ferry and the world’s longest escalator, did a bit of shopping and enjoyed adult beverages while soaking up the view of the Hong Kong skyline at night.

It was a good warm-up for the rest of the trip to come.

Next stop: Chaing Mai, Thailand.

Benjy was reading an article on treehouses around the world.  He learned that the world’s highest treehouse is located in southeast Asia, in Laos, and is part of a conservation project called “The Gibbon Experience.” Since we had never been to Laos, we decided that this would be the perfect destination for our next adventure.

The Gibbon Experience is a tourism-based conservation project located in Nam Kam National Park.  It’s located deep in the heart of a jungle.  What makes the experience an even greater adventure is that the treehouses are accessible solely by zip lines.

But we had to get to Nam Kam National Park first, which was a 2-hour drive from the city of Huay Xia.  We started out on a paved road and, after about an hour, we stopped for a brief potty break.  We then drove off the pavement across a flowing river onto a muddy dirt road.  For the rest of the trip, we maneuvered up and down steep hills, twists and turns as we made our way into the rain forest.

The road trip ended at a small village.  We then hiked for another hour and finally arrived at base camp.

There were about 25 people in our group.  Benjy and I were probably old enough to be mom and dad to everyone else.  The Asia backpack contingency was a motley crew who didn’t mind taking their vagabond party lifestyle to the jungle.

They brought with them 4 bottles of whiskey, 9 cans of beer, blaring  music and foul language.  What could possibly go wrong with booze, zip lines and houses suspended hundreds of feet above the ground?  If there was any chance of an unfortunate event, it seems the odds were stacked against this crowd.  Luckily, the backpackers were an insular group and wanted their own party treehouse.  We were happy to oblige and opted for the more family friendly version.

We were fitted with our harnesses.

After a tutorial of how to hook ourselves to the zip lines, off we went.

And this was our home for 3 days, Treehouse #4.  It happened to be the newest treehouse.  I couldn’t really tell how far up we were, but it seemed pretty high since I couldn’t see the ground.

This was the “bathroom,” which was on a floor lower than the main living space.  I was actually quite pleased with it, squatty potty notwithstanding.  There was a shower that you can’t see in the picture, but no hot water.

Here is the view from the toilet.  Being hundreds of feet off the ground alleviates the need for privacy curtains.

We shared our abode with a really sweet couple, Sara and Tyge, who live in Shanghai.  They didn’t want to be in the party treehouse either.

The place didn’t have separate rooms, but we did have separate mosquito nets that served a dual purpose of keeping the tree rats from crawling on us as we slept. Eek!

Our first night, a fierce rainstorm started blowing around midnight.  The rain poured and there was thunder and lightening.  Benjy said he could feel the tree swaying in the wind.  Throughout the storm, we stayed dry and comfortable.  I wasn’t the least bit afraid.

The next morning, we woke up in the clouds.  We could hear the gibbon monkeys singing, but unfortunately we couldn’t see them through the mist.

Breakfast (along with all of our other meals) was zip-lined to us.

Meals were simple but filling and always came with steamed rice cooked and delivered in a nifty bamboo steamer.

We hiked and zip-lined all day.  The longest zip line was 500m (1,600 ft.).

We visited the other treehouses.

We had 2 really sweet guides, Pormua and Nengpo.  They took great care of us during our visit.

During one of our breaks, Aaron helped Nengpo practice his English.

He also fashioned some silly hats out of leaves and a twig.

What a unique and thrilling adventure!!

We interrupt our regular broadcast for this special public announcement.

It’s that time of the school year, call it spring fever, winter blahs, I don’t know.  I think all moms, whether you’re homeschooling or not, hit a brick wall right about now where you are just grasping for the dim hope of spring break as it mocks you far on the horizon.

I am in the process of registering one of my children for online classes for school next year.  In order to protect the identity of the innocent I will call this child “Child.”  As a prerequisite to Child’s admission to next year’s writing class, Child must take a grammar placement test.

I have taught Child English grammar ever since I started homeschooling Child 5 years ago.  Child has studied grammar Every. Live. Long. School Day.  Nouns, pronouns, verbs, adverbs, adjectives conjunctions, prepositions, predicate nominatives, predicate adjectives…I have taught them all to Child.  We have diagrammed; we have underlined verbs twice, subjects once; we’ve drawn arrows from adjectives to the nouns they modify; we have done likewise from adverbs to adjectives, verbs and other adverbs.  I have all but beat Child with a wet noodle to know and identify the parts of speech.

Yet when Child is faced with a @#$% grammar placement test, I am on the verge of coming unhinged.  Because Child, depending on which day you catch Child, can tell me without blinking an eye and with all sincerity, that “the” is a noun or “cat” is a verb.  AAAAAARGH!

And I know this.  I know this all too well about Child.  And I’m wondering as I look at Child.  I’m wondering and thinking…”what kind of day are you having today, Child???  Are you having one of those “cat” is a verb days?  Because if you flunk this grammar placement test then your potential teacher will think that I have done NOTHING, nothing to teach you grammar, which could not be further from the truth!!!! And I will deserve her contempt and that banner across my chest of “Bad Mom Who Never Taught Child Grammar.”

So I plunk the placement test nonchalantly in front of Child and say through gritted teeth, “you know all of this; just read the questions carefully and do your best.” <Smile>

As I watch Child begin the test, the thought occurs to me…

“At what point is this not my fault?” 

As Child’s homeschool teacher, there isn’t anyone around to blame but me if Child doesn’t learn to read; write; add; subtract; multiply; divide; know that Nebraska is a state in the U.S. and not a foreign country (don’t laugh, it’s been a point needing clarification with said Child.  Needless to say we are currently slogging our way through World Geography).

I know some of you are saying, “does it really matter?”  Well, no, it isn’t a matter of life or death.  I know this!  But, when I look at the TIME and EFFORT I have spent with Child on this subject matter, I’m like, at what point is it YOUR fault and not mine that you don’t know this?”

I think moms in general are hardwired to feel condemnation for the failures of our children.  But at what point do I get to say, “I did my part, but you didn’t do yours?”  Where does “I could still do more” end and “I did everything short of cutting Child’s head open and dumping the information in” begin?  When do I get to say, “my work is done here?”  Is a mom’s work ever “done” as long as we have breath?  Maybe not.

I have no answers.  Just lamentations.

Oh and by the way, Child did pass the grammar placement test.

So there’s that.

Well, it’s been awhile since my last post.  Sorry about that.  I’ve been a little delinquent in keeping up with my writing.  I’ll have to go back and finish up the last part of our summer road trip some other time.  I got burned out writing about it, maybe you got burned out reading about it.  Anyway, I’m moving on.

So, another year clicked by for me and I’m a year older.  Let’s just say I’m solidly middle-aged.  This birthday was extra special because my mom was here to help me celebrate it.  We took a quick trip to Macau.  Even though it’s a short 1-hour ferry ride, none of us  (including my mom) had ever been there.

Macau is famously known for its gambling.  It’s like Las Vegas of the Far East.  I haven’t been to Vegas since I was a small child and I don’t really remember anything about it, but Benjy says that Macau is cleaner and much less sleazy than its sister city in the west.  Sure, it has its own version of the strip, with glitzy hotels, opulent casinos, high-end shopping and mesmerizing shows, but the overarching prurient nature of Vegas seems less present in Macau, at least from my observation.

In front of the Parisian Hotel and Casino, there was a faux Eiffel Tower (or as Team Woods called it, the F’eiffel Tower.  As an aside, anytime there’s a fake version of something we add an “F” to the name, for example, a fake Gucci purse is a “Fucci”, knock off Beats headsets are “Feats,”  phony Ugg boots are “Fuggs.”  You get the picture. I know, we are hilarious.)

There was also the Venetian Hotel, complete with canals flowing throughout and Italian-looking gondolas cruising up and down.

As swanky as the strip was with its flashy lights and extravagant attractions, none of that brought us to this city.  Team Woods, gamblers we are not.  History, on the other hand, now that’s something we can all get into in our nerdy kind of way.

Macau was a Portuguese trading post settled in the early 1500’s.  Thereafter, it became a de facto colony of Portugal and was governed as such until 1999 when the Portuguese handed sovereignty back to China.  Like Hong Kong, Macau is now governed as a SAR (Separate Administrative Region) of China.

Away from the flashy and modern strip remain remnants of the Portuguese settlement.  It’s interesting to see the early European architecture…

…amidst the Chinese culture.  I think the east meets west fusion is fascinating especially considering the number of centuries it has endured.

The Eurasian combination is most apparent in the road signage which is made of classic Portuguese tile.  On the tile is imprinted the street name, Patio da Cabaia, in both Roman letters and Chinese characters.

Another pleasant surprise is that my Uncle Pete happened to be visiting his wife’s niece in Hong Kong.  We met up for lunch in Macau.

Uncle Pete used to live with us when I was between the ages of 6 to 8 years old.  At the time, he was only about 18 years old and he drove me CRAZY!!  This was the late 1970’s and Uncle Pete was a self-taught disco dancing extraordinaire.  John Travolta was his idol.  He practiced his fancy dance moves in our living room while I sat and watched from our fireplace hearth.

I remember he’d twirl around and ask me, “How do I look, Ta?  How do I look?”  I would heckle him and ask, “who taught you how to do that, Uncle Pete?”  To which he would proudly respond, “I taught myself!”  I’d just groan and roll my eyes.  He is fully to blame for my ability to recall all the lyrics to the songs on the Bee Gees’ album “Saturday Night Fever.”

One of the things that sent me into a rage back then is that Uncle Pete took FOR. EV. ER. in the bathroom as he got ready for a date, blow drying and styling his black flowing locks until he was perfectly coifed.  I would bang on the door and scream at him “Hurry up Uncle Pete!!! I need to use the bathroom!!”  After what seemed like hours, he finally emerged enveloped in a cloud of steam, hairspray and after shave.

Being the pesky little sister type, I rummaged through his drawers snooping for anything incriminating and spied on him while he made out with his girlfriends.  I’m sure I was a royal pain in his rear too!

It had probably been over 30 years since I last saw Uncle Pete and we laughed hysterically as we reminisced about those days.  I forgot how much I missed him!

His long flowing locks are gone now, but he’s still my beloved Uncle Pete.

We drove onward to Portland to spend some time with Benjy’s side of the family.  Both Benjy’s mom and dad grew up in Portland and they still have family in and around the area.  Because they live so far away from where Benjy and I grew up in Florida, it had been over a decade since Benjy had last seen many of them.

We visited some of Benjy’s aunts on his dad’s side.

Here is Kathy, Linda and Annie (from the left).

It was fun to hear the stories of Benjy’s dad growing up and about his paternal grandmother.

We also went by Benjy’s maternal grandmother’s house.  Benjy’s grandmother passed many years ago, but he has fond memories of the summers he spent in this house.

And this is where our trip took a downward turn for a bit.  While we were in Portland, we were ROBBED!! As we were sleeping, someone got into our car and stole everything left in it: 3 large suitcases full of clothes, camping gear, documents, basically our whole life in the U.S. was in that car and all of it was GONE!  Benjy’s backpack with every single piece of identification was taken, along with his laptop and ipad.

We were stunned.  We had already planned to camp in several national parks for the last 2 weeks of our trip.  Without our camping gear, it seemed that those plans were out the window.  Deflated, I told Benjy that I just wanted to call it quits and buy a ticket back to Hong Kong, where things like this rarely happen.  After thinking on it for a few moments, Benjy said, “The Woods aren’t quitters!  We’re going for it!”  I didn’t know how we were going to do that without our camping gear, but I didn’t have the heart to argue with him.

Then, someone posted a notice on an online neighborhood message board that 2 suitcases had been found on the side of the road.  They turned out to be our camping gear!  I suppose the thief had been on foot when he/she had stolen our stuff and he had only managed to drag everything a short distance before being forced to start ditching things not worthy of keeping.  Camping gear obviously wasn’t a priority.  So, we got back our tents, gas stove and sleeping bags.

This find was encouraging so I headed out on a treasure hunt to see what else I could recover.  I could tell Benjy was skeptical, but he didn’t try to stop me.  He didn’t come with me either, though.

As I walked I searched the bushes, garbage cans and dumpsters along the way.  I scanned some tall bushes and I noticed something hanging off a branch.  I got closer and realized that it was the scarf I had been knitting!!!  Of all the things I was bummed about losing, my knitting was actually close to the top of the list because I had worked all summer on it! Now emboldened, I continued to comb the area.  A few steps later, I saw what looked like trash scattered on the ground.  It turned out to be some of the contents of Webley’s back pack.  She had lost her jewelry, some quite precious to her, and lo and behold, there it was strewn on the sidewalk.  I guess the thief figured it was just junk costume jewelry.

I crouched down to look inside a thick hedge of bushes and I found a pink paper bag with our groceries.  Everything was still wrapped up in its packages and looked fine.  I suppose the crook wasn’t hungry either.  I brought everything back to show Benjy and the kids what I had recovered.  After they saw all the loot, everyone joined me in search of more of our belongings.  We were especially interested in getting back at least one piece of Benjy’s photo identification.  We didn’t find anything else on that scavenger hunt, but a few days later someone else posted on the same online bulletin board that Benjy’s military ID was found in some bushes.  It had become clear to us that obtaining a new passport for Benjy was going to be very difficult without a picture ID.  Now we had one!  We breathed a sigh of relief.

We never did get back our clothes (most of which were brand new because we did all of our clothes shopping while we were in the U.S.), nor did we recover any of our electronic devices.  All in all, I thought it could have been much worse.  At the very least, we could continue on with our camping plans.

We moved on from Portland to Tillamook to visit family on Benjy’s mom’s side.

To Benjy’s right is Gary, April (Benjy’s mom’s cousin) and Craig (Benjy’s uncle).

We drove on to Corvallis, Oregon and met up with Benjy’s first cousin, Tiffany.  Benjy’s dad and Tiffany’s dad were brothers.  I’m amazed at how much Tiffany and Benjy look alike.

They have the same eyes, eyebrows and nose.

It was great reconnecting with the fam and we hope to see them again soon!!

We drove on from Seattle to Oregon and spent a few days at Cannon Beach.

The beaches are nothing like what we have in Florida, but they are nonetheless beautiful in their own way.

During the school year, all of us (including Benjy and me) read books on the Lewis and Clark expedition.  So, we couldn’t pass up the opportunity to visit Fort Clatsop, the fort where the expedition wintered in 1805-1806.  We got the ole stamp in our national parks passport and a check mark in our homeschool field trip ledger.

Our time with the Sheffields came to an end and they headed back to Florida.  As for us, we still had a month left of our road trip, so we continued on our adventure of the west coast.  We drove out of the wilderness into the urban core of Seattle, WA.  Our first stop, of course, was Pike Place Market.

We saw the fish tossers and purchased some fresh salmon for dinner.

Then, we had to pay homage to the birthplace of Webley’s fav coffee shop, Starbucks.

Never mind the fact that  Webley hates the taste of coffee.  On one trip to Starbucks she asked me to order for her a frappacino.  The barista at the counter asked me if I wanted coffee in it.  I looked at him dumbfounded and asked, “what else would be in it?”  At that moment, Webley interjected “no coffee, please.”  I looked at her quizzically and she just shrugged her shoulders and said, “I don’t like coffee, mom.” I responded, “then why are we in a COFFEE shop???!!!”

There’s all sorts of weird stuff in Seattle.  Take this little guy who was snorkeling in a basket of fake flowers when we happened upon him.

Another interesting attraction is the Gum Wall.

Yes, folks, those are pieces of CHEWED gum stuck all over the wall in Pike Place Market.

All I can say about it is…GROSS!

Our last stop with the Sheffields was Glacier National Park.

The main attraction at this park is the “Going to the Sun Road.” It’s a narrow, 52-mile stretch of hairpin twists and turns, little to no guardrails, followed by sheer cliff drop-offs.  Being the man of the group, Benjy felt it was his responsibility to do the driving, but he was very vocal about his displeasure of this self-appointed duty.  I didn’t blame him for his apprehension.  The road did look treacherous and the van he would be driving was only 1 inch short of the legal size limit.

Jen wouldn’t take “no” for an answer, however.  It was, after all, the highlight of our experience at this park.  So Jen and Benjy went round and round for 2 days.  I sat back quietly and listened, because after nearly 22 years of marriage to this man, I knew all the grumbling was just a process he needed to get through before accepting his fate.  Jen found the ritual a bit exasperating.

So, we set out early in the morning and inched our way up the mountain.  The traffic behind us stretched for miles, but those unfortunate souls to our rear were invisible to us.  Finally, we made it to the top.

Our reward was gorgeous views

and much cooler weather.

We also saw some mountain goats..

and a plump marmot.

After all the belly-aching Benjy admitted that he had made much a-do about nothing over the drive, but we were all grateful that he conquered the “Road to the Sun.”

The next item on our agenda was to hike the world famous Highline Loop.  The hike is on the top ten lists of the best hikes in the U.S.  We couldn’t pass that up!  As we were driving to the trailhead a huge grizzly bear crossed the road right in front of our van.  We screeched to a halt and the bear darted into the field next to the road.  As the official photographers of the group, Jen and I jumped out of the van and cautiously followed the bear.  We just had to get some shots of this guy!

I wanted to creep closer to get better pictures, but Benjy held me back.

We were grateful for the opportunity to see him!

Onward to the trailhead.  According to the map, the hike was 5 miles long, right within our comfort zone…or so we thought.

The views were stunningly beautiful.

I could see why the hike was ranked one of the top 10 hikes in the U.S.

But, three hours in and we still had not reached the Grinnell Glacier.  Hikers going the opposite direction kept encouraging us and telling us, “it’s not much further.”  I was getting grouchy, tired and hungry.  So much so that Benjy decided I needed to hike the rest of the way by myself.  He and the others went on ahead while I groused at the rear.

And then there was this…

I literally gasped when I saw the view and then smiled.  The Grinnell Glacier.  At that moment, all was better.

We took off our shoes and stuck our tiptoes into the FRIGID water; we relaxed and took in the scenery, crisp air and brilliant sunshine.

For awhile we forgot all about how tired and hungry we were.

But then it was time to go and we realized we had made a terrible miscalculation.  The hike wasn’t 5 miles round trip, but 5 miles ONE WAY.  We still had to hike another 5 miles to get down the mountain.  And that’s when the full on belly-aching started.  We had no more water and no food, but we also had no choice.  Downwards we stumbled.

At one point, Benny refused to go any further.  Reagan took one for the team and carried him piggy back.  Finally we made it back to civilization.  We were pooped, but it was a great ending to our trip.

Friends, I am in awe of Yellowstone National Park.  This is a must-do and should be added to your bucket list.  It’s astounding the uniqueness, variety and magnificence of the things to see here.  Our Creator truly showed His handiwork in this place and what a blessing that Theodore Roosevelt had the forethought to designate the area as the first national park, thereby creating the national park system which preserves sites like this in perpetuity.  It’s a treasure!

First of all, Yellowstone Park is immense; it’s over 2 million acres, larger than the States of Rhode Island and Delaware combined.  It nearly covers the whole state of Montana.  So, there’s a lot of ground to cover, but we did our best to see everything we could.

Our first stop, not surprisingly, was Old Faithful geyser.

Old Faithful erupts every 90 minutes or so.  It isn’t the largest geyser in the world, but it is the most consistent in height, interval and length of eruption.  While we were waiting around for Old Faithful to blow her lid, we toured the other thermal features in the area, which were equally as interesting and beautiful.  The bacteria that manage to live in the scalding hot water produce vibrant colors…

…and rotten egg-like, sulfurous aromata which emanate from the depths.

We also saw plenty of wildlife at Yellowstone.  Lots of bison.

In fact, this guy for some reason liked hanging out all by his lonesome near our cabin.

When we would come out early in the morning, he’d just be grazing in some patch of grass right outside the door.  He didn’t seem bothered by us being there, but it also seemed like he viewed this area as HIS territory and he merely tolerated our presence.  We called him Bill and eventually grew accustomed to his company as if he were just like a squirrel on a tree and not some 2 ton bison with horns that could impale a person like a marshmallow on a bamboo skewer.

We spotted a black bear,

a giant elk, with massive antlers,

a portly marmot sunning himself on a rock,

pronghorn antelope,

and more bison

Our sights weren’t limited to animal life, but plant life as well.

A mountainside of wild flowers is just breathtaking.

These are some of my most favorite shots of our trip.  I think it’s like a scene from the Wizard of Oz.

We saw the iconic Lower Falls of the Yellowstone.

At 308 feet tall, the Lower Falls is the second most photographed spot in the park just behind Old Faithful.

One morning we woke up early while it was still chilly outside and viewed the mud pots.

To me, it looked like a scene out of a war movie of a battlefield that just got leveled by carpet bombing.

The steam emanating from the ground created an eerie landscape.

The Mammoth Hot Springs rock formations were also intriguing.

In this area of the park, boiling hot water beneath the surface rises through the limestone layers.  The water quickly dissolves the rock.  When this solution bubbles up to the surface, the water evaporates leaving layers of white, chalky travertine formations.

As we were driving through the park, Benjy saw this view and immediately pulled over.  He thought it was particularly picturesque.  I have to agree.

It was definitely the highlight of our trip!!

The Beaver Dick Campground had nary a shower nor flushing toilet, so we wasted no time getting out of there.  We still had a 2 hour drive ahead of us.  All of us were grumpy and exhausted.  Our condition was vaguely reminiscent of Jen’s and my ungraduate days at the University of Florida of Saturday morning hangovers, minus the adult beverages and all night fraternity parties.  But, a Big Gulp size cup of coffee and grease from a McDonalds breakfast can do much to lift spirits and get the adrenaline running again.

So we finally arrived at our destination, Grand Teton National Park.

And here’s the Teton Range with the iconic Grand Teton peaks towering above the landscape.

We did some hiking and enjoyed all the great views.

We even saw a moose.

We learned later, that the moose frequents this location, which is right near a bridge.  The locals call him Bruce.  Bruce the Moose.

One of our guides told us that locals call moose “swamp donkeys” because sometimes the animals graze underwater and eat the plants they find at the bottom of lakes and streams.  For some reason that led us back to another discussion about Beaver Dick.  We decided a great name for a local band would be “Beaver Dick and the Swamp Donkeys.”  I don’t know how we got off on that tangent.

We stopped at the Chapel of the Transfiguration located on the park property.

The inside of the chapel is small and quaint, but it was peaceful and lovely.  What a view from behind the pulpit!

Such a wonderful place to worship our Creator, surrounded by His majestic creation!